John Howard: Prime Minister

So before the last election, we told poor people that if they spent heaps on medical bills, we'd pay heaps of it back, and I swear that we actually had every intention of doing that until we found out that it costs money to pay back someone's bills! Tony and I were totally shocked when Pete came in and told us that poor people were actually using this "safety net" thingo and that WE were paying for THEIR medical bills. As if. We already gave poor people a bunch of bribes before the election, we don't have the money to subsidise their medical costs when they get sick as well. Typical greedy poor people, always sponging off the government, wanting a handout. "But you promised!" Whatever. I promise a lot of things, but if people are still believing what I say after they've had like, ten years to learn better, then I reckon they deserve what they get. If medical bills didn't cost anything, then we'd happily pay them back. It's not our fault that doctors charge money. People expect too much of me.

So anyway, now apparently I've "broken" the Medicare "safety net". I'm so sick of these lame metaphores. Can't we just call it "screwing over poor people"? I'm comfortable with that.

Apparently the ALP are trying to get Eddie McGuire to run for them in the next election. Soooo pathetic. Besides, we could so easily top that. We're already in talks with Larry Emdur to be Treasurer, Rob Brough as Minister for Family Services, Baby John Burgess as Minister for Ageing, and that nasty woman from The Weakest Link, who we reckon would make a tops Minister for Immigration. I'd also like to change Question Time so that we could opt for "Physical Challenge" instead of answering questions, and I'd like to find an attractive, female "co-host" for David Hawker. I wonder what Adriana Xenides is up to these days...