Saturday, August 24, 2002

I went to Adelaide Uni today, but they all picked on me. They said it was 'cause of our policy on asylum seekers and the treatment of higher education, but I know it's just 'cause I'm short. I've been teased about my height my whole life. I even still get teased in Parliament, even though I told Pete Costello that it isn't funny anymore. But the students were even meaner, because they threw things at me. Actually, sometimes Pete does that, too, but only when when we have food fights during lunch. Yesterday, I threw my Vegimite Rivitas at Alex Downer and it went all over his shirt! Janette says I have to buy him a new one.

Brian Greig reckons he's top shit now he's the Dem's interim leader, and he struts around like he owns Parliament House. As if. I mean, I'm the leader of a real political party (everyone knows the Dems are just there to make the country look more democratic), and I'm the leader of a whole country. A really big one, too.

I called George Bush again today, but they said he was busy washing his tennis shoes. They said that yesterday, too. I pay someone to wash my Dunlop Volleys, but George likes doing things himself. I think that's why he's always too busy to talk to me.

Thursday, August 22, 2002

So Natasha's gone. I don't care, I never liked her, anyway. She always teases me and she thinks she's so hot. Once she stuck a 'Kick Me' sign on my back, and no one told me for the whole day. And she's always making fun of my clothes. I could wear Doc Martin's to Parliament, too, only Janette says they're not practical.

Only, I hope Aden Ridgeway doesn't become the Dem's interim leader. This one time, his glasses got in the way of my foot and they got crushed, but it wasn't my fault, so I wouldn't say 'Sorry', I mean, they shouldn't have been under my foot in the first place. But he's hated me ever since. What is it with Aboriginals and that word?

Monday, August 19, 2002

Parliament started back today, so Janette bought me a new Powerpuff Girls pencil-case, a new Powerpuff Girls ruler, a new Powerpuff Girls pencil and a new Powerpuff Girls Folder! But she said my old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pens still worked, so I couldn't get new Powerpuff Girls ones.

The opposition kept hassling me to say something about Iraq, but I have said something: We wanna go, too! Kevin Rudd kept picking on me, though. He was all, "America had a hearing about it, why can't we?" And I was all, "Duh, Dipshit, that's the point. America already made the decision for us. I mean, George Bush is a smart guy, I don't think he'd start a war without a really good reason." And all the Libs laughed at him, and now we're calling him 'Rudd the dud'. I came up with that.

I called George Bush this evening, but they told me he was doing 'President stuff that I wouldn't understand about'. They tell me that a lot.