John Howard: Prime Minister

Man, that loser Saddam is going to ruin everything! Doesn't he realise that this war is one of the best chances that I've ever had for bonding with George Bush? George is finally paying attention to me. I mean, he called me up. On the phone. And it wasn't to tell me to stop calling him, either. And now Saddam thinks he can just stop this war from happening by letting in weapons inspectors? Not if I have anything to do with it...

Crean reckons that Labor probably won't back the war, too, unless the UN gives approval. Which they totally won't, 'cause the UN never want us to have any fun. They all suck. All of them. Why doesn't anyone want me to have friends? Janette says that she wants me to have friends and that she'll back the war. If only Janette were the head of the Opposition... But then, that'd kind of suck, too, 'cause then I wouldn't be able to throw things at them anymore. Or tease them. Or graffiti their cars. Or put kick me signs on their backs. Plus, the Opposition smells, it says so on the door of the men's urinal. So maybe it's better that she's not their leader.