John Howard: Prime Minister

Wow, it's been a while since I've written anything here. Sometimes I just get so caught up in the fun and excitement of Australian politics that I just forget, though.

And Parliament has just been chockers with excitement lately. Like Tony Abbott found his long-lost son and then found out it wasn't even his son at all! What a relief, though. Like, imagine wondering about your son for 27 years, only to find out that he works for the ABC! Talk about disappointing. Of course, we were all supportive and stuff, saying that it was probably just a phase and that he'd grow out of it, but seriously, if Richard or Tim ever started working for a communist organisation like that, there's no way they'd ever be welcome at Kirribilli again. Someone also scribbled out the "ABC = Almost Bloody Communists" graffiti in the Parliament men's dunnies and replaced it with "ABC = Abbott's Bastard Children", which was nasty, but we all laughed. I'll bet the whole thing made Tony rethink his stance on abortion. Maybe there's something to that "quality of life" argument after all. I mean, is a life of public broadcasting a life worth living? It really makes you think.

Then all this stuff happened with Rosso Lightfoot, where he said to some journo that he smuggled $20,000 into Iraq from some oil company, except the journo had the nerve to actually report what Rosso said, and so people said, "Well you can't do that", so he said, "Well good, 'cause I didn't do that", so people said "Then why'd you say it?", so he said, "I didn't", so people said, "What do you reckon, John?", so I said, "I reckon he didn't", so people said, "Well maybe you're wrong", so I said, "So's ya mum", so Janette sent me to my room. But it was worth it, 'cause Rosso is a really cool dude, and it's important for cool people to like you. Like, he told me all about how he lives in a castle with a moat with crocodiles and sharks in it, and once when Mick Jagger was staying at his castle ('cause he and Mick Jagger are really good friends), Mick Jagger fell into the moat, and Rosso had to jump in and wrestle the sharks and crocs to save him, and Mick Jagger was so appreciative that he bought Rosso a Porsche! Who wouldn't believe an awesome guy like that?