John Howard: Prime Minister

Oh my God! Best. Weekend. EVER.

The APEC summit was soooooo much fun. We played pranks on the leaders of the countries no one cares about (where the hell is Brunei? It's funny, 'cause it sounds like "Brown-eye"!), and had food fights, and at night we told scary stories, like about lefties taking over the world and trying to conserve the environment and stuff (I couldn't get to sleep after that one). Oh yeah, and we also talked about politics and stuff. I tried to start a game of Chinese whispers, like we play over here in Parliament, but Jiang Zemin kept stuffing it up, even though he's Chinese or something. His interpreter reckons you can't translate "nong-head" properly. I don't even know why they bothered inventing the game, then. They didn't like Chinese burns, either. China really should get a leader who's more in touch with their culture.

But the best, coolest, most totally wicked part of the summit? George Bush was there!!! And Tony Blair wasn't!!! We hung out heaps, sometimes it was even just the two of us! Well, like there were security guys and stuff, but apart from that, it was just us! Janette wouldn't let me bring my Playstation, but I snuck my Gameboy up there and we played that heaps, mainly during the boring politics stuff. I asked George if he wanted to come jogging with me, but he didn't. Probably 'cause it was so hot. I thought Mexico would be cold, 'cause it's near Chile, but it's not. It's kinda like the Northern Territory, but with less Aboriginals and more cactuses.

Anyway, it was totally gnarly and I reckon Tony Blair's heaps jealous that he wasn't there.