John Howard: Prime Minister

Today I met a Palestinian bloke and I was supposed to talk about "road maps" with him. But I'm not really good with maps, 'cause I have a guy that drives me round where I need to be. Apparently this guy was from some place called Israel which is in a place called the Middle East which I think is somewhere in South America. Probably towards the centre of the Eastern part. Anyway, there's this problem over there, 'cause the Palestinian people reckon that Israel is theirs, but there are lots of Jewish people who also reckon Israel is theirs. I told him that was like how we have Australians and Aborigines here, only Australia is clearly ours, 'cause if it was theirs it'd probably be called "Aborigi", or something. I suggested that he start calling the place "Palestine" or something, and he might have more luck.

Everyone's being mean to me 'cause I might've said some things that weren't exactly true about Iraq trying to get stuff off Africa to make nuclear weapons. I dunno why anyone cares. I said stuff about asylum seekers chucking their kids out of boats which wasn't exactly true, either, and who except the ALP even remembers that any more? Everyone still knows that, like Iraqis, Asylum Seekers are evil. Plus, I was trying to convince Australians that we needed to go to war with Iraq and there wasn't exactly a whole lot of actual evidence supporting my case. What did people expect me to say?

Duh, Australia.