Wednesday, September 25, 2002

Yesterday I had to go visit stupid Tony Blair in his stupid house in his stupid country. He thinks he's so cool, just cause he wrote some stupid "dossier". I'll write my own dossier. It'll be called the "Tony Blair Smells and is a Fart-Face" Dossier, and it'll rock over his.

Anyway, yesterday sucked, 'cause I had to pretend that I like him and he doesn't smell, see:

But in this picture, I'm really thinking, "Ew, I wonder where his hands have been...". And he's probably thinking, "Duh, I'm stupid. My country is full of depressed whingers and we are crap at cricket. I'm the leader of a stupid lefty party. If only I was John Howard, because he is so cool and George Bush obviously likes him better than me. Probably because I'm stupid."

I had to talk to him, too. Well, not really. He just blathered on about stuff, but I wasn't listening, and sometimes I'd go, "Yeah, totally..." Or, "Word, dude." And he just kept talking and stuff, but in my head I was making up a poem. It goes:

Tony Blair sucks
He looks like a duck
He also really smells
I wish he'd go to hell
Bush is wicked cool
Blair is a total tool
Let's go bomb Iraq
Because the people there are dark

Janette says it's really good and she stuck it up on the fridge.

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Who does Robert Mugabe think he is? I mean, I sent him a perfectly nice invitation to that Commonwealth Meeting today, and he "objected" to it. All it said was:

"hey looozer, evn though we suspended u from the council this year, u can still come 2 our meeting if ure not totally chicken, which I bet u r, coz u smell and we all h8 u. but u can come anywayz".

He must just be totally over-sensative or something.

The meeting was heaps cool, though. There were these two other African Presidents there, Olus...olg..something and Tha..kbeie..whatever, and we just laughed at Mugabe for ages. Apparently everyone in Africa thinks he's a total dork. And we had to decide what to do about Zimbabwe, 'cause apparently it's pretty crap over there, which doesn't suprise me at all, 'cause Mugabe is such a der-face. I reckon we should just bomb it, 'cause then I could ask George Bush if he wanted to join in, and that'd be wicked.

That reminds me, I should go call George, just to make sure he still want us to come to Iraq. I'm sure he does, but... well, ok, I just want to talk to him again!