John Howard: Prime Minister

It's sooooooo unfair! George Bush, Tony Blair and the Prime Minister of Spain (whoever that is) are all going away to some island together, and they didn't invite me! Janette says it's probably just because Australia's not on the Security Council, but I reckon it's because Tony Blair doesn't want me there, because he's a nasty pastie. I mean, they invited the Prime Minister of Spain! Spain's in like, Asia, or something. If they wanted an Asian, they could've at least invited someone from an important Asian country, like China or Brazil. I'll bet it was Tony who invited him, and I'll bet he only did it to spite me. He's such a mean bean.

So, anyway, they're going to be off having fun on this island... unless it's like "Survivor", I guess, 'cause those islands never look like so much fun. Except, I suppose if it really was like "Survivor", then I could vote Tony Blair off, and then that'd be really cool, because I'd be all, "Tony, the tribe has spoken." And he'd be all, "Waaaah, I'm crying, 'cause I'm a sooky baby!" And then everyone would laugh at him. He's such a loser. Apparently his own party doesn't even support him on the war stuff, whereas almost everyone in the whole of Australia supports me. I don't care what the polls say, the fact is that if Australians don't support me, then they'll vote me out at the next election. And seeing as they haven't yet voted me out at the next election, they clearly support me.

Hmph. I still hate not being invited, though. Maybe it's because I'm not cool enough. But Janette says I'm cool, and I'm fairly sure that I am, too. I dunno, maybe I'm so cool that Tony's scared of looking uncool compared to me. That's just stupid, 'cause he's gonna to look uncool no matter who he's around, even Asians like the Prime Minister of Spain. I hope George still thinks I'm cool. Last time I was there, he said I was. Well, like he said, "You look cold, do you need a jacket?" But that's pretty much the same thing. I don't even think he reckons Tony's cool, either, 'cause I was like, "So... whadda you reckon about Tony?" And he was like, "I don't know... why? Don't you like him, or something?" And I'm like, "Well, I dunno, do you like him?" So he's like, "I don't know... I don't like like him. Do you?" So I'm like "Well... not like like, but what about just like?" But he didn't answer, 'cause then we decided to get some sheets and make a cubby under his desk in that Oval Office, so he probably reckons Tony's heaps uncool, too.

But in that case, I should be the one going away to the island, and not Tony or the Asian! It's so unfair!