John Howard: Prime Minister

I had to spend my weekend hanging in New Zealand, and it was pretty lame. That country's a poor-man's Australia. Like, instead of Aboriginals who steal all the positions in the AFL from real Australians, they have these Ma...mao...mayo... these other foreigners that steal all the rugby jobs. Or like how we have a cricket team, and so do they, only theirs is crap. Or like how Australia has me, and New Zealand has a woman.

It was also lame 'cause for some reason, everywhere I went, there happened to be an anti-war protest going on at the same time. Like talk about bad timing! I just hope they didn't realise who I was. At least that's one thing that Australia and New Zealand has in common, though: The lefties in both countries suck. Though ours say, "No war in Iraq!", and theirs say "No war un Uruq!" It's still just as annoying, though. Only, 'cause they're losers, New Zealand doesn't support the war anyway, so maybe Australia can ship all our loser pacifists over there, so they can all hold hands and sing "Give Peace a Chance" (or "Guve Peace a Chunce") where no one else has to hear them. It'll be like the Pacific Solution, only with more sheep. And no one will whine about it, either, because the people getting sent away are exactly the same people who care about that human rights crap.

Man, I'm so smart with this politics stuff, I think tomorrow I'll try and work out a way of getting those Aboriginals out of Australia and back to where ever they came from.