John Howard: Prime Minister

Yesterday I took a break from my holidays to have a bit of fun by going back to work. I got to talk about the war all day long, which was totally rad, but 'cause he's such a spaz, Simon Crean was whinging that I "talk up war" too much, or something. As if. I mean, if there's a war coming up, then why can't I talk about war? And he's gotta face the fact that we're going to have a war, 'cause George Bush says we need to have a war, and so we're gonna be part of that war, and of course I'm gonna be talking about war a little bit, 'cause I'm the PM and I have to talk about war, 'cause talking about war is my job. He's just jealous, 'cause he doesn't get to talk about war, and I do get to talk about war, so really I'm just talking about war as much as any normal person talks about war, but 'cause he's a sook, he just thinks I'm talking about war more than most people talk about war, when in actual fact, I'm not talking about war any more than I'd normally talk about war.

Speaking of war, why's it taking so bloody long? All this stuff with the UN... weapons reports and all that -- why bother? Like, does anyone actually care what the UN think? That Coffee guy's really annoying, too, and what a stupid name. Clearly we're just gonna go ahead with the war, regardless of what Coffee and that Hands guy (and seriously, who's naming these people? Maybe we'd take the UN more seriously if they had sensible names like, oh, Robert Menzies or Don Bradman, or something) reckon, so why not just cut them out all together? I guess George knows what he's doing, after all, he's a pretty smart bloke, but I'm getting really impatient!

War war war war war war war war war war war war war war.......