John Howard: Prime Minister

What an awesome week! After meeting with The Terminator, I went to the US captial, George Washington, and hung out with George Bush. It was awesome, 'cause he totally bagged out Mark Latham. I was like, "There's this lame guy at home and he's mean to me and he sucks and is lame." And so George went to this press conference and said, "There's this lame guy in Australia called Mark Latham, and he's mean and lame." Or something like that. Anyway, the point is that George rules and Mark Latham drools. I should so turn that into a t-shirt.

Speaking of Latham, apparently he's trying to get that bald hippy from Midnight Oil to run for the ALP. Like that's so original. Athol Guy from The Seekers was a Liberal member of Parliament for ages. The Seekers - now that's REAL music. Peter Garrett just hangs around with Aborigines and dances like a spaz. Maybe it's time we got another Australian musical legend running for us in the next election. Like Rolf Harris. He could probably do a rad theme song to get us through all this prisoner abuse crap, too, like, "Lie when the senate review's around, sport".

So the communists at the ABC are trying to turn kids into gay homosexuals by showing them lesbians on Playschool. Typical. Now there'll be five year-old gay couples trying to get married and adopt children so they can destroy their lives by raising them with same-sex parents. Clearly the ABC didn't get the memo that we're trying to encourage homophobia for the upcoming election. I'll never be able to listen to Benita and John sing "Two Little Dickey-Birds" in the same way again.