John Howard: Prime Minister

Homosexuals are so bloody greedy. I mean, they already have a parade, and you'd think that'd be enough, but nooooo, now they want to get married too. They have some lame idea that marriage is about love or something. Idiots. Marriage is about sex. Sex that leads to babies. Babies that lead to Young Libs. Anyway, everyone knows that homosexuality is wrong and dumb and evil. 'Cause homosexual couples adopt kids or have IVF or whatever, and then wreck the kids' lives by raising them in families with same-sex parents. I reckon if a parade is good enough for the ANZACs, then it's good enough for homosexuals. Well, I guess the ANZACs got their own biscuit, too. But then, they were doing good stuff like fighting in a war and that, not threatening the survival of our species. Homosexuals are so gay.

I'm so sick of the ABC. They're so thick that they don't get that when we say "media bias", what we mean is "media bias against us". Dumb stupid idiots. I'm not sure what the letters "ABC" really stand for, but I reckon it must be "Almost Bloody Communists", 'cause the ABC are like, totally in love with the left. Once I said to Kerry O'Brien, "If you love the left so much, why don't you marry the left?" And he goes, "Excuse me?" And I'm like, "Ooh, Kerry and the left, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" And then he told me to get out of his front yard and to stop following him around. Another thing the ABC loves is foreign people. Apparently they even named a show about them called "Foreign Correspondent". Jeeze, why not just name the show "We Love You, Foreigners. Please Come Over Here Illegally In Your Foreign Boats So You Can Take All the Jobs And Collect Welfare"?! And they even have foreigners on some of their programs. Like, there's an Aboriginal chick on Playschool. I dunno about anyone else, but I wouldn't want a foreigner singing "Two Little Dickie Birds" to my kids.

Minority groups suck.