John Howard: Prime Minister

I'm sooo excited! Alex Downer said the other day that he reckons the War On Terror™ is gonna keep going for at least a generation. That's so rad. Imagine - Coalition Government after Coalition Government, lying and fear-mongering for years to come... even when I retire, it's totally awesome to know that my legacy will live on and on and on. Man, I'm getting all excited just thinking about it! If Australians think they saw scare tactics, propaganda, and paranoia during the Cold War, they're gonna be totally blown away by the stuff we'll come up with. I'm already coming up with some "Red under your bed" style catchphrases. I'm thinking like, "Is there a member of al-Qaeda behind your heater?" "Is that a member of Jemaah Islamiah serving you a beer?" "Is that your dad planning an Islamic Jihad?" I'm so heaps clever.
 
So apparently this fat American communist guy called Michael Moore was bagging me on 60 Minutes. Who does he think he is? 60 Minutes is where I go to spout political propaganda and thinly disguise it as an interview. Hands off. Besides, since when is it ok for Americans to comment on Australian politics? And he was all, "What is John Howard doing in bed with Bush?" How does HE know about that? Seriously, it was one time at George's ranch when we wanted to have a sleepover, and it was totally innocent. Honestly, George has a really big bed, AND we slept head-to-tails, so really, it was like we weren't in bed together at all. I swear. We're just normal, totally straight guys, who once snuck some Barbeque Shapes and Ribena into George's bedroom and ended up sleeping in the same bed. And like, we were as far away from each other as we could possibly have been. I almost fell out of the bed, I was that far away from George. But we were totally just blokes being blokes. In fact, I'm pretty sure we mainly talked about how hot our wives are, and sport, and blokey stuff like that. In FACT, I'm pretty sure we also talked about how totally unappealing we find men, and especially each other.
 
So really, Michael Moore doesn't know what he's talking about. I mean, where did he get his information from? ASIS? 'Cause seriously, they don't know anything. Fo' real.