John Howard: Prime Minister

Mark Latham is a total liar liar pants on fire. He reckons that an intelligence agency told him that pulling our troops out of Iraq by December was a good idea. But as if, 'cause intelligence agencies are heaps smart -- intelligent, even -- and as we all know, our troops have to stay in Iraq to get the job done. Smart intelligence agency blokes know that. But 'cause Mark is stupid, he doesn't realise that by "get the job done", I don't mean making Iraq a not crap place for those terrorists to live. I mean winning the next Federal election. Der, Mark, you stupid lying stupid-head. Plus, if we didn't have troops in Iraq, George Bush might not want to be my mate anymore, just like Pete Costello probably wouldn't sit next to me at morning tea if I didn't give him my Fruit Roll-up every day. Stupid lying Mark eats Le Snacks for morning tea, 'cause he's a stupid French-loving liar.

Stupid Mark also said that the war against Iraq is like the Vietnam War. That's just stupid, though, 'cause Iraq and Vietnam are like totally different countries. I bet Stupid Mark doesn't even know anything about the Vietnam War. I know heaps, though, 'cause I've seen "Forrest Gump" at least three times, and that's a true story and everything. Forrest Gump was this guy who was a top bloke, 'cause he was good at sports and stuff, and then he went to war. But this war wasn't anything like the war in Iraq, 'cause there were no terrorists and they were in this place with beaches and palm trees and stuff. I think it might have been Hawaii. Anyway, it clearly was nothing like Iraq, 'cause the media were allowed to have heaps of access and freedom and stuff. When I told Stupid Mark that, he said that if I want watch something about the Vietnam War, I should watch "Apocalypse Now", but der, I totally remember that sitcom, and what do Effie and a bunch of Greeks running a coffee shop have to do with war? I guess Greece and Vietnam are both in Asia, but apart from that I think it's just Stupid Mark being stupid.

Really, the only similarity I can see between the war in Iraq and the Vietnam War is that we won both of them.