John Howard: Prime Minister

Ooooh, that Peter is such a nasty pastie! A few years ago, he told these journalists (of all people! Ew!) that he wanted to get rid of me! And I asked him if it was true, and he was like, "Nah, John, we're totally best mates... oh yeah, actually I did say that... BUT I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" But I think he DID mean it, and now I'm scared that he's plotting and sabotaging behind my back. Like, he's the Treasurer, so he controls the economy, and at the last election, he told me to say that interest rates wouldn't rise if we won, but now they have! Maybe he did that to set me up! And also, I found a 'kick me' sign on my back after Parliament yesterday, and it was written on Department of Treasury letterhead and I don't think it could have been Peter Dutton, 'cause he's a total wuss.

Speaking of wusses, Kevin has this stupid 'Kevin07' campaign going, and he and all his Loser Party mates wear these lame matching t-shirts and post on Myspace. WhatEVER, Kevin. I've been blogging here for years so I'm way more in touch with young people and cool technology than he is. I bet he still uses Livejournal and laughs at the 'Numa Numa' guy! Like ZOMG, n00b. The other day, I was like, "Hey Kevin, I think they're missing you on YAHOO CHAT!" and he was like, "Yeah? Well I got distracted by your GEOCITIES PAGE!" so I went, "YEAH? I'm surprised you could load it on you DIAL-UP MODEM!" and he was like, "Tell it to your USENET buddies, lamer." Then the Speaker called "order" and told us to stop disrupting Parliament, and the stupid Independents yelled out "PWNED!"