John Howard: Prime Minister

Yaaaaaay! George is officially coming to visit me! It's gonna be so cool. Though it sucks a bit that Canberra is so boring and lame. Maybe we can move Parliament to Sydney for the visit, or something. It'd suck if George reckoned that Australian politics was uncool just 'cause Canberra makes everything look lame. Except the ALP, who look lame in any state. Canberra just makes them look like, super-lame. I told Simon Crean that, and he was all, "Yeah? Well the Liberals are like, super-lame times one hundred!" And I'm like, "Then the ALP are super-lame times infinity plus one, no returns!" So he stuck his tongue out at me then ran off like a baby. He's so immature. I hope he's not around when George visits, 'cause George is heaps mature and so am I, and I don't want George to think that I'm a baby like Stupid-Head Crean. Just to make sure, I'm gonna stop doing some stuff that... well, it isn't baby-ish or anything, 'cause I'm like an adult and that, but stuff that George might think was not so mature or something 'cause he's really cultured.

So first off, I'm gonna stop getting the Happy Meal at McDonalds. I'll miss the toy, but I wanna show George that I can handle a whole Big Mac and a medium Coke (when Janette lets me get a Coke, anyway). The next thing I'm gonna stop doing is carrying my Teddy Bears (who are called Robert and Menzies) with me all the time. Like, I can still keep them in my bed at home, but I won't take them into Parliament or to important functions. I know they'll get lonely and stuff, but I reckon they'll understand. And finally, I'm gonna take the big step from watching the Disney Channel to Nickelodeon. I reckon it's heaps more high-brow and intellectual and that. And 'cause I also watch Cartoon Network, George will see how totally down I am with the media. It's like I'm well read, only without reading, so like I'm well watched, or something.


I think if I can take these steps forward, I'll be a much cooler person, PM, and coallition member (that's "Coallition of the Willing", not the Liberal/National Coallition. I don't give a stuff about that), and George will think I'm totally rad. Which he probably already does, but he'll think I'm radder.