Happy birthday to ME! I'm the birthday boy! Janette says that being 65 also makes me a big boy, but it meant I had a big decision to make. I could stay on as the ruler of Australia, leader of the Liberal Party, and being all powerful and stuff... or I could retire and get a Seniors Card. It was a tough decision to make, 'cause like, senior's meals, cheap movie tickets, and cheap bus fares are hard to turn down. But then I realised that it wasn't fair to deprive the country of having me as the PM, so I decided to stay on. Also, it's funny watching Pete Costello suffer. He came to my birthday party, but I reckon it was only 'cause his wife made him. He was a total sooky-sooky-la-la all day, and he wouldn't play musical chairs or British bulldogs (though that ended up being a pretty good choice, 'cause Amanda Vanstone spear-tackled me heaps hard and I scraped my knee and she said I was crying, but I wasn't, and besides, it was my birthday and I could cry if I wanted to. Not that I did). He did play pass the parcel, but got all huffy when I got a Sailor Moon pencil case, and all he got was a Dragon Ball Z sticker. He asked if I'd swap, and when I said no, he was all, "Figures." Then when I was eating a piece of my Birthday cake (Jannette made it in the shape of a Deputy Sheriff's badge!), he was all, "So you're gonna have your cake and eat it too, are ya?" And I was like, "Uhm... yes."
I got a great haul, though. Like:
- Three new cardigans
- Shannon Noll's CD (thanks, John Anderson... not)
- Cowboy Dress-ups
- A Lord of The Rings DVD (we all reckon that Phil Ruddock looks like Gollum and Alex Downer looks like Frodo. I reckon that I look like Aragorn)
- The 9/11 Commission Report
- Two new Robert Menzies posters
- A new bright yellow kanga cricket set
- A t-shirt with "I run the country and I vote" on it
- A St George beanie
What I'd
really wanted was some wicked gangsta gear, like a chain necklace with a big diamond-studded "JH" hanging off it, and a shirt with "I put the 'PM' in 'PIMP'" on it. But Janette was all, "Think of what people will say!" I told her people would say, "Day-um! J.Ho's got some fine-ass bling happenin'. He the Mac Daddy!" But I got into trouble for saying "ass". I told her it wasn't that different from Phil Ruddock's Amnesty International badge, but she wouldn't listen.
It's so unfair, I'm 65, I'm not a little kid anymore.
