John Howard: Prime Minister

Thursday night sucked so harcore. The senate doesn't want ASIO to be able to hassle Terrorists or something, so we had to sit in Parliament all night while they rejected legislation. It would've been cool, like a sleepover, only it wasn't cool 'cause we weren't supposed to sleep, so it was just an "over". Well, I snuck off to my office to sleep a little, but I woke up with post-its stuck to the lenses of my glasses and I thought for a second that Kay Patterson had colored them in with a fluro-yellow highlighter again ('cause she does that all the time, and she reckons it's heaps funny, even though it isn't), but then I realised that she hadn't.

Ok, some of the night was kinda fun, like when Janette dropped round some chocolate crackles, vegimite sandwiches and lemon-lime cordial for everyone ("everyone" being the members of the coalition), but we weren't hungry, so we threw them at the opposition But we had to stop when Bob McMullan got chocolate all over his new pants and started crying. Cry-baby. But that was funny, 'cause his pants had this big brown stain on them, so we all called him "Cry-Baby Poo Pants".

But from then on, it was really, really boring. Like, even more boring than Parliament usually is. So we decided to have a sing a-long, which was kind of cool, we did all the old classics: Advance Australia Fair, Puff the Magic Dragon, I Still Call Australia Home, Popcorn (ok, so that doesn't have words, but we all did that "Ba-ba ba-ba bum-bum bum" thing)... but then I started singing God Save the Queen and the Labor Party all groaned and threw things at me. I guess they mustn't know the words, or something.

Then Wilson Tuckey wanted to play "Spin the Bottle", but we decided that we didn't want to risk getting Labor-germs, so we went and mooned the Senate. Funnily enough, even after that, they still didn't pass that legislation. Losers.